Oh Sweetie, You Can Cry

It was late afternoon on a beautiful August day when I sat down at my favorite cafe in Zakynthos. I was previously in Belgium but decided to shorten my trip and booked an impromptu flight to this little Greek island that I had never heard of before.

My iced coffee was at least the third that I've had since arriving two days ago. On this specific afternoon I also ordered the cherry pie. For a Monday afternoon the cafe was quite busy and in my peripheral I saw an older lady holding her cup of coffee looking around for an empty table, of which there were none. We made eye contact and I pointed to the vacant seat in front of me and said slowly, "would you like to sit"? She smiled graciously and sat down.

As I sipped on my coffee I could see her staring intently but kindly at me. She introduced herself as Daphne, then proceeded to ask if I was alone. I confirmed I was. She said that she was alone as well. Her husband of 48 years had passed away last year. "I'm sorry, my condolences", I said. She smiled and replied that there was nothing to be sorry about. That is life and those years were the best of her life. She said it with such love and conviction that I absolutely wanted to learn more.

Daphne's husband and her had met when they were teens and got married at just 21. Was it love at first sight? Do Greeks traditionally have arranged marriages? How could you be sure at such a young age? She smile and said to me what I was not expecting at all. "I was not in love with him when we married, I don't think. We were good friends. He came from a good family and I knew that he was a man of his word and would keep his vows to take care of me for the rest of our lives".

As the days passed, as he worked hard to save money to buy a small home for them the love grew. He sometimes worked random odd jobs such as harvesting the olives during the season to make extra money and many times would come back from the farm with some wild flowers for her. She admitted she was not a good cook but he encouraged her and always thanked her for her efforts. Daphne told me that love is something you build. A conscientious decision that you make and commit to with your actions. Love is a choice.

I sipped my coffee and let her words sit with me for a few moments then responded that the challenge these days is too much choice. Perhaps a long time ago if your partner made you angry you would talk through it and find a solution. These days? You can give someone a, "okay, next" and within the hour swipe until your heart's content and open up the DM's to see what the current options are. Somewhere between time being our most valuable currency and effort being matched there was a break down of sorts.

I don't understand the modern dating she giggled. Though I know that no matter what a heart's still a heart. She studied my face and looked at me with the kindest eyes. It's okay to cry. Oh sweetie, you can cry. And if anything this is as a good of a place to be alone to cry as any. Be sad, feel a little crazy, but always have faith that love is meant to be yours. If you choose it to.

Before I could respond she stood up and waved goodbye. Just before leaving she took out a package of tissue paper and left it on the table. I stared at it then thought... oh no I must have something in my teeth. I opened my phone camera and looked at myself. My eyes were bloodshot red from attempting to scuba dive without any gear. Having my eyes wide open in salt water clearly severely irritated my eyes. Looked like I had been crying for a week. Oops.